of thoughts and anger

little that i know that i have been very fussy about my other half and very scared to go into a relationship.

i dont care what people say about my age, about finding the ONE at this very moment. About me thinking about settling down.

I dont know if i should feel this way but I feel that now i am at my peak in my career and family life. I should be doing these and concentrating on them rather than thinking about so many stuff at one go. I know that life is going thru all the challenges that is posed to me but I just feel that my career is challenging enough for me to stay on. Let me do this and i do the rest later

dad and me had not been in good terms. well, mostly its my fault though. I've not been a good boy to be doing the 5 daily prayers. I been doing instead 3 a day kind of thing. and knowing my dad, being the religious type, missing one means you are bad. and there he goes with the nagging and everything. I know i in the wrong, but you could have woken me up for that suboh period. I am very tired. I am. I do wake u up at times when you couldnt wake up for your own suboh, why couldnt you help me then?

i just couldnt be bothered and the fact that the rate of him smoking in this house is going up very high and fast, its been putting my health on the lows. I been coughing and having this sore throats due to his neglect. Tell him to stop smoking? Tell him to smoke somewhere else? Have you thought the fact that i am keeping quiet about it?? suffering in silence people say. I done that and he just complied to it for a few days, after which he will come back to his own ways. I couldnt scold him for that fact as he is my father and i couldnt ask him to smoke somewhere else in the house as its HIS house. So, i am in the losing end. Luckily for me, i always have the comfort of my own room and air freshener to ligthen me up.

i been praying and praying that i will get the load of getting a new bike and dad was saying, come later after friday prayers we go see which bike to get for u.
ok, even the hate, i just glad that my prayers had been answered. best thing, i hope to get the bike before february.

sorry ms rxz. I so need to sell you off soon. you been great and i've never regretted doing the make over for you and racing with you down expressways and narrow roads. You have taken care of me well too. Love you. dont worry, i going to sell you off at a good price and of course, i going to find a good owner for u.

adios.