i guess its nothing

ok hell. i think i going hiatus soon coz i dont think i got time to update this shit anymore. and again, no point updating coz no one really reads. and no, i not looking to be symphatatic here.

i had a long week this week, started off on sunday all the way to friday night. basically i spent most of my time mugging to test, running my breath out and being torchered by trainers. i dont want to blog much abt. coz it just sucks.

and i dont want to feel what i feel now. coz it just so not true and even though its real, its not real enough to be presented to this world. i just cheated myself badly thouugh that it affected me in a way. why i feel this way? i just dont know. why?
its really a question that i myself cant answer. i just need it to just dissapear away.

i be bz with super alot of trainings and i guess, i be ok and that feeling will dissapear soon enough. i keep hearing the first song on my friendster profile and i keep smiling knowing that i knew i saw that someone's smile and made me smile.

i just need to be away. away from the past. really. i need that strength to do so, coz i tried to keep it and it hurts me again. i just need to be away.

pls.






ok enough of the emo emo things. i shall rant whatever i want now.
its been a topic of the week in my squad this week, going to sentosa and the IT show.
i didnt want to spend alot of cash so i was like thinking to give IT show a miss. but that decision changed when i switch on this computer of mine. the prob: the monitor. the temp solution: use old monitor which sucks to the max. its like as if i having a bad eyesight kind of thing and its only 15 inch. grr.....

so wats the permanant solution? GO IT FAIR AND GET A LCD MONITOR. haha. so budget wise: i aint sure but for sure i have to give buying shoes a miss this month. grr.

ok let me see. tml sentosa and it fair. i guess i be fully book tml.wee. so i be preoccuppied..


camwhoring shit is going to happen tomolo no matter what the weather is. and i hope the weather holds up.

some things that my mother brought up to me the moment i got home, she was like 2 people that she knew passed away and its usually 3 people that we know will pass away within days or weeks within each other. its her belief. and you know what she said, its a possibility that its her turn next coz she smelt this fragrance thats associate with death on her praying mat.

i told her, dont think this things. just keep praying and if the time comes, she will go..

i'm scared too.