long one

hey i'm back. and before i start off blogging, let me wish a belated Valentine's and advance CNY to those who are celebrating both occasions ok?

and talking about valentine's, my ex is the sweetest girl that i have ever met. i'm with good terms with her now and read her blog often and i bump into this entry of hers that brought me to tears. the song, the words, the pictures, even though is not about me and her, i find it that it touches my heart in 2 ways, emotional and painful way.

emotional in terms of how my ex is going thru such pain and how much i miss the 2 years with her long time ago and of course, missing her. (its been ages i met her)

and painful, well, its painful to know how badly i treated myself and espescially how i treated her. i should have treated her better. i was such a jerk. forget about that, its the past and i'm learning from it.

so here's that something that a special someone in my heart made for her special someone. girls, put yourself into her shoes and try to understand. i bet you need a tissue. for the guys, er. just try to understand girls better and treat them well.

izyan, hope you dont mind i put up that vid up here so that i can share it with the world. and maybe tell Li something?




on a happy note, its just feels great to know that i can do nothing the next few days. haha. i cant shop. cant this cant that. CNY mah. 99% of the shops will be closed. so i have to do my shopping tonight and tomorrow morning, stock up on the supplies for the long weekend. haha. this is random no 1.

cny is coming so which means my body kit is coming to. i dont know. i'm not a bike fanatic but its seems that i dream about how my bike going to be like all night long. well, in my dreams esp. my ex help me design my future bike and i went gaga.haha. random no2.


"its not that i given up but its just that i'm too scared to find love."
thats what i put up in my friendster shoutout which is so particularlly true. i'm too scared to get hurt and to hurt someone. i just dont pursue if i get one and i just ignore if that person ignore me. i dont know whats wrong but maybe i just not ready. or maybe my heart is occupied still?

whatever it is, i just want to be happy. thats all i'm asking for.
i just need to get my mind straight and get it quickly done.

o yah, and talking about valentines again, i recalled the 2005 Vday. was so fun. 50 first dates at youth park and with that special someone. :) best one i had. hehe.


and so i end here for now.